Contact us
Please note that we cannot offer Legal aid
What is post-separation abuse?
Post-separation abuse under Common Law vs. French Law
International & cross-border post-separation abuse
Protecting yourself: legal strategy & practical steps
PacisLexis Family Law
Post separation abuse lawyer
Leaving a relationship does not always end the abuse. In many cases, control, manipulation or intimidation intensify after separation, especially when children, finances or property remain entangled. This is known as post-separation abuse — a pattern of coercive behaviour that continues after the relationship ends.
This article explains what post-separation abuse is, identifies its most common forms, highlights the differences between common-law and French legal approaches, and explores what happens when such abuse crosses borders.
If you’re facing post-separation abuse in France or in a common-law country, Pacislexis Family Law can advise you on the strongest legal protections available under each system.
post separation abuse lawyer
What is post-sepration abuse?
Definition
Post-separation abuse refers to ongoing coercive, controlling, or harmful behaviour that one partner inflicts on the other after the end of the relationship.
It often escalates because the abusive partner feels they are “losing control.”
Common behaviours include:
- threats, harassment and intimidation
- emotional manipulation
- using children as tools of control
- financial sabotage
- stalking, digital surveillance or online harassment
- refusing to cooperate with custody or property procedures
- deliberately delaying divorce or legal processes
Why does it happen?
Because the abuser’s objective is not the relationship — it is control. When the victim leaves, the abuser seeks new ways to maintain power through legal, financial or parental leverage.
How do I know if it’s post-separation abuse or just conflict?
Conflict is mutual. Post-separation abuse is one-sided, patterned and controlling.
Does post-separation abuse count as domestic abuse legally?
In most common-law jurisdictions, yes. Many countries now recognise that abuse continues after leaving.
Can post-separation abuse affect custody?
Absolutely.
Courts may restrict contact, impose supervision, or order protective measures.
post separation abuse lawyer
Post-separation abuse under Common Law vs. French Law
How Common-Law systems handle post-separation abuse?
Common-law countries (UK, Canada, USA, Australia) generally recognise coercive control and post-separation abuse as forms of domestic abuse.
Courts may issue:
- restraining orders
- non-molestation orders
- supervised-contact arrangements
- emergency protective orders
- economic abuse remedies
Judges can consider post-separation behaviour when deciding custody, maintenance, and safety measures.
How French Law handles post-separation abuse?
France recognises “violences conjugales” even after separation, but the framework differs:
- Abuse must often be proven by concrete acts (threats, harassment, violence).
- Coercive control as a legal category is less developed than in common-law countries.
- Protective measures exist (Order of Protection — Ordonnance de Protection), but standards of evidence differ.
- Children’s best interests are central, but courts require documented proof.
Post-separation harassment is a criminal offence in France if it constitutes moral violence, threats, stalking or repeated malicious communication.
Does France recognise coercive control?
Not explicitly as a stand-alone legal category, but many actions consistent with coercive control are criminally punishable.
Can I get emergency protection in France?
Yes — Ordonnance de Protection can be obtained rapidly if there is danger or serious harassment.
To learn more about protection orders you can read the following article:
How do French courts treat abusive behaviour in custody decisions?
Behaviour impacting safety or stability can justify restricted or supervised contact — but proof is required.
If you’re facing post-separation abuse in France or in a common-law country, Pacislexis Family Law can advise you on the strongest legal protections available under each system.
post separation abuse lawyer
International and cross-border post-separation abuse
When abuse crosses borders
International cases become more complex because abusers may:
- weaponise immigration status
- withhold documents
- refuse to return children
- use foreign jurisdictions to delay divorce
- interfere with international relocation
- hide finances abroad
Digital abuse (tracking, threats, impersonation) often continues across borders.
Enforcement across jurisdictions
Challenges include:
- different definitions of abuse
- uneven recognition of coercive control
- difficulty enforcing restraining orders abroad
- conflicting custody laws (Hague Convention)
- problems collecting financial support across countries
However, courts can:
- recognise foreign protection orders (varies by treaty)
- enforce foreign custody decisions
- impose supervised cross-border contact
- use international cooperation tools for harassment or threats
Will a restraining order from abroad work in France?
Not automatically — you often need recognition by a French judge, unless covered by EU regulations.
Can I relocate with my children if there is post-separation abuse?
Yes, but international relocation must be approved to avoid accusations of parental abduction.
To learn more about child abduction, you can read the following article:
What if my ex uses foreign law to keep control over me?
You can seek legal remedies in the local jurisdiction, and often challenge abusive litigation (vexatious proceedings).
For international abuse cases — cross-border custody, protective orders, relocation and foreign enforcement — Pacislexis Family Law provides expert, strategic support.
post separation abuse lawyer
Protecting yourself: legal strategy and practical steps
Practical steps
- Document everything (messages, emails, screenshots, GPS logs, financial sabotage).
- Do not communicate directly if it escalates abuse — use neutral decision-making apps or legal channels.
- Seek legal protection: restraining order, police complaint, or emergency protection.
- Secure finances: close joint accounts, freeze joint cards, track withdrawals.
- Secure digital life: change passwords, disable location sharing, check devices for spyware.
- If children are involved: request supervised contact or court-ordered communication limits.
- Plan for cross-border issues early if you or the abuser live abroad.
Common mistakes victims make
- hoping the abuse will stop “now that we separated”,
- responding emotionally to baiting messages,
- agreeing to informal arrangements with an abusive ex,
- underestimating digital stalking,
- moving countries or children without legal advice,
- assuming foreign orders automatically apply in France.
Why early legal support matters?
Post-separation abuse is predictable — and preventable — with the right legal strategy.
Your lawyer becomes:
- your buffer
- your negotiator
- your protector
- your strategist.
To help you
and to care
PacisLexis Family Law
Facing post separation abuse?
If you are facing post-separation abuse — whether emotional, financial, digital, parental or cross-border — Pacislexis Family Law can help you secure protection, stabilise your situation, and regain control of your life.
PacisLexis Family Law
Our separation & divorce articles
Bullying at school
What is bullying?
There is no legal definition of bullying as such, but it can be defined as behaviour by an individual or group repeated over time that is intended to hurt or harm another individual, either physically, emotionally or verbally.
Statistics in France:
The French department of education reported that around 700,000 children experienced bullying in school every year.
Family Harassment lawyer
Family harassment is a form of domestic violence and abuse. It can include physical abuse, threatening behaviour, psychological abuse, neglect…
Family harassment can take many forms, however, if you find yourself threatened, intimidated, and humiliated by a relative or a family member and/or your partner, it can affect your mental and physical health. Domestic abuse can happen to people of all genders. If you’re the victim of an abusive relationship, you might want to be protected and helped.
Nursing home abuse
Nursing home and elder abuse statistics in France for 2022 shows that 1 in 6 older adults (over 60s) has already experienced abuse and the numbers are on the rise.
Elderly abuse and neglect can take many forms. Nursing home abuse can have devastating emotional, physical and financial effects on older individuals.
Very often, nursing home and elder abuse happen in long-term care or other care facilities but also within their home.